Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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