I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
