last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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