he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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