Is it because I queefed?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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