I'm really into asian looking animals
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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