I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
