Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Who died my cat blue again?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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