Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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