dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
