Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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