Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
