omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
