We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
