My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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