Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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