I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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