just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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