bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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