i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
