Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
