omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
