My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
