He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
