But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
