My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
