Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
