dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Also, beer. Big fan.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I would fuck him just for his dog
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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