Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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