we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
