He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize