That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
