I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
