My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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