Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
