how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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