When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Duck Duck Cougar?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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