Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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