butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
