I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
