I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
being pregnant is like rehab
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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