It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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