Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
