C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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