guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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