i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
