this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I need to calm my uterus...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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