She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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