White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize