I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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