people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
