I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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