What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
