My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize