Fine. I'll sleep in my office
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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