You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
