i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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